Striving For Next, Missing Present, Longing For Past

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.”
Zechariah 4:10

I really can’t wait for my son to be a few months older because this stage is exhausting. Surly things will be easier when he is out of the newborn stage. I can get some sleep at night and nursing won’t be such a challenge.

I hope he starts crawling soon so that I won’t have to pick him up and put him down everywhere.

Life will be so much easier when he can talk so he can just communicate to me what he wants. I hope that stage comes faster.

He is into everything! I can’t get anything done! I forgot how easy the newborn stage was when he just slept all day!

Disciplining is so hard now that he has his own will and speaks his mind. It was easier when I had more control over him.

Do you see the pattern?

I know, we have all been there! I’ve found myself in these mindsets of wanting the future to come quicker just because I assumed it’d be easier. But at the same time, I would also be in a place of wanting to go back to the past because that appeared to be easier in hindsight. And in all of it, I’m just trying to avoid the struggles.

It took me a while to realize that my perspective needed to change or I was going to seriously miss out later on if I kept this mindset as my children grew older.

Even as time goes on and stages change rapidly with our little ones, if we only acknowledge that we were wrong to think the future would be void of our current struggles, we still are missing it. Instead of wanting the future to come quicker, now we are desiring to go back to when things were “easier”. It’s a horrible cycle. That very cycle is causing us to miss out on the beautiful, fulfilling, blessing of motherhood. And most importantly the eternal impact we are meant to have in that role.

Our constant striving for the future makes us view our present as unpleasant and when the future does come we will look back longing to have one more second in the past. Always discontent, wasting time, and missing out on the unique and beautiful parts of each season, including the blessing of struggles.

Blessing of struggles?

The most valuable blessings in our lives always come with a struggle attached. Sometimes those struggles are actually what make our blessing even more of a blessing! That might sound like a contradiction, but it’s truly not!

How is it a blessing if it comes with a struggle? We want to avoid that right? Why is it necessary for it to be this way? Am I supposed to embrace this and make peace with it?

“Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

“And not only this, but we also celebrate in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5)

“…so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ…” (1 Peter 1:7)

It is a reality, and not only must we make peace with it but we must do something good with it. And whether or not we choose to look a little deeper into this reveals our true heart and goals in life.

Before going any further, let’s just stop and consider our motives and goals. Because this will ultimately determine how we look at all of this and if we will be motivated to implement change.

I personally desire to live a life with purpose and to be pleasing to the Lord. I want my relationships to be meaningful, long-lasting, and reach their full potential. I never want to stop growing and changing. I don’t want to just rush through life seeking only fleeting futile pleasure and comfort. I want to know the deeper meaning behind things. I desire what’s eternal and pleasing to the Father. As I grow older I desire my spirit to grow stronger as my flesh becomes weaker. That’s my true deep-down desire. And I’m assuming this may be similar to yours also. Because otherwise, you might even see the need to read this post.

“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (1 Corinthians 4:16-18)

“Keep watching and praying, so that you do not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41)

“Open my eyes [to spiritual truth] so that I may behold wonderful things from Your law.” (Psalm 119:18 AMP)

“…for it is God who is at work in you, both to desire and to work for His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13 NASB)

If deep down in our hearts this is truly what we want, then we need to establish our goals and allow the Holy Spirit to open our eyes and change our perspective. Because ultimately our perspective will determine our direction, which will then determine our outcome.

What you see is not nearly as important as how you see it. Your perspective will determine your direction.

Now our foundation is laid out. And though these principles do apply to everything in our life, however, for this, let’s focus on motherhood.

We as mothers love our children more than anything, and we try our best to keep them healthy and safe. But most of the time we are just exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. Often we do what we can to just get through the day in one piece. Always feeling like our efforts are just never enough. Sometimes even feeling like there are so many mother’s doing it way better than you in comparison.

So as much as we feel like we are giving our all, and it doesn’t seem to be enough. It can be overwhelming to even consider that our efforts might be in vain and that our roles as mothers could be falling short of what God intended.

But honestly, the fact that we are willing to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth to us, show us the error of our way, and to be willing to change, that is what shows we truly love Jesus and love our children.

God is not asking us to be like sister Sue next door. He is not asking us to be perfect. He is calling us to open our eyes to the big picture, to seek Him daily, and to continue to allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and make us into the women He intended us to be. He expects us to rely on His grace, and guidance, and to be obedient.

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” (John 14:15)

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

“The one who is taught the word is to share all good things with the one who teaches him. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a person sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will reap destruction from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit. Let’s not become discouraged in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not become weary.” (Galatians 6:6-9)

What does a godly mother even look like? My first thought is to refer to Proverbs 31. There were several times in the past that I read through this chapter and all I could think was “Wow, I want to be this Proverbs 31 woman but I look and live nothing like her, and her standard seems impossible to even reach.” I thought that maybe if I tried to do what she did then that is what would make me a good and godly mother. But still, it didn’t seem achievable. Have you felt like this?

One day, I asked the Holy Spirit to make me into this ideal Proverbs 31 woman. Then I asked him to help me do the things that she does. I knew I needed His help because it just seemed so impossible to be like her. And in my spirit, I believe I heard Him say “Daughter, as much as I will make you into the woman I intend you to be as you allow me to, these are not just traits to strive for and mimic, these are the fruits of a woman who has fully given herself to me.” WOW! It all starts on the inside. What we see outwardly is always a reflection of what is happening inwardly. The more we allow God to change us on the inside, the more that will be reflected in our words, actions, and decisions.

This is what changed my perspective. Which then changed everything. Although the struggles remained the same and my faults were still present. The way I saw everything as a whole was completely different, and I slowly began to see my focus and direction shifting.

What we see outwardly is always a reflection of what is happening inwardly.

Let’s begin to see our struggles as blessings, blessings that strengthen and stretch our faith and trust in the Lord. Blessings that God uses to sanctify us daily. Let’s thank God that He gives us the opportunity to grow knowing that our struggles and trials have a purpose. And let us also be continuously aware of and grateful to God for the good and easy moments as well. For every stage has something unique and special to that time. Let it not pass us by too quickly.

And lastly, hold on to this truth, that God specifically chose YOU to mother your children. And with that, he provides a special grace for you to do that. Our children belong to the Lord, and He has a plan and purpose for their life. He chose you and me to play a huge role in getting them ready for that. Let’s take seriously our role, seek the Lord, and not let time be wasted.

Though motherhood will look very different and unique for all of us, may we set the example of what it looks like to be women of God, representing His kingdom and His righteousness. Let us all be of the same heartbeat and mind as mothers and sisters in Christ.