Breastfeeding Doesn’t Always Come Naturally
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
PSALM 46:1
Do you remember those desires and expectations you had as a mother while you awaited the birth of your child? The things that you set out to do for them once they were born, expecting or hoping that there would be no struggles or roadblocks to accomplishing those things. Assuming things would go just as you planned, easy peasy. I know I did. Though there are many expectations I had planned to fulfill once my daughter was born, I am quickly realizing as a new mom that anything that is of great value doesn’t always happen the exact way we hope or plan for. Patience and perseverance are required to reach these goals we have as mothers. While at the same time letting there be room to fall down at times, but also to get back up. One of the things I decided from the moment I was pregnant was that I wanted to breastfeed. After learning the many benefits of breastfeeding, I knew it’s what I was going to do. I so desired to have that bonding experience with my baby and provide her with the best natural nutrition. During pregnancy, I researched and tried to learn the basics of breastfeeding to prepare myself. However, nothing could have prepared me for the reality of what Baylee (my daughter) and I would actually experience. I just assumed that because it was natural that it would also come naturally, that it would be essentially effortless. Wow was I wrong.
“Breastfeeding Is Natural, But Doesn’t Always Come Naturally”
Although breastfeeding is natural for mom and baby, it doesn’t always come easy. When Baylee was first born there was an immediate struggle to latch. However, it didn’t seem unusual to the mid-wife. She reassured me that it would take some time and practice. The day after Baily was born we went for her first pediatrician check-up. The doctor noticed a tongue-tie. She recommended a holistic dentist and told us that we could either get it taken care of right away or try to work through it. As a new mom, I didn’t really know at the time what the right thing to do was. Initially, my husband and I decided to hold off on the procedure to see if we could figure out how to work through it.
The next few days were filled with the joy of enjoying our newborn daughter but in the midst of great struggle. Feeding Baily got harder as the days went on. She couldn’t latch, she would cry in starvation and frustration. I was overwhelmed emotionally and physically. One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling helpless as a mother. I had my share of breakdowns as I was trying to heal from birth as well as trying to learn to care for and feed my baby girl and just be a mom in general. I am so thankful for my husband’s support. Honestly, I couldn’t have made it through without him. Sometimes I just needed someone to encourage me to not give up, and reassure me that it is going to be okay, to pray for and with me. My husband was adjusting to becoming a new dad while holding up his wife at the same time. He was there for me in every way, and I am so very grateful. It can be hard while we are in situations like this to acknowledge or even be aware of what others are going through while they are trying to support and hold us up before we fall apart. It’s something we need to be intentional about recognizing. Even if you are consumed in the overwhelming circumstance try to take a step back and thank those that are supporting you. Even if its a simple “thank you”.
I remember one of the sleep-deprived nights I was holding Baily as she cried and I was crying and I just yelled “I can’t do this!” I kept crying out to God asking for His help! At first, I felt like He wasn’t hearing my desperate prayers. What I soon began to see was that God answers prayers differently than we expect. He opened the door for what was needed and important for the long term, not a quick fix. So we were brought with the suggestion of going to see a lactation consultant. We scheduled her as quickly as possible. In the meantime, I supplemented with formula though the thought of that made my heart sink. It’s something I never wanted to have to do but I knew at this point what I wanted didn’t matter, I needed to do what was best for my baby. Another lesson I am learning as a mother.
Meeting with the lactation consultant turned our breastfeeding journey in the right direction. By this time, about a week and a half have gone by since Baily’s birth and she had lost a few ounces in her weight. As the lactation consultant observed she was able to teach me techniques to help her to properly latch. I thought, “wow! she’s latching now she must be good to go!” But that wasn’t the case. We quickly learned this was not going to be a quick fix but the first step. She also examined her mouth and confirmed not only one tongue tie but 4. Two lip ties, a cheek tie, and a tongue tie. As she examined further she discovered that Baily was losing weight because she was taking in only the fore-milk but wasn’t strong enough to take in the hindmilk (fattier milk). She then referred us to the same holistic dentist that our pediatrician recommended and he took us the very next day! In the meantime, I also had to pump to maintain my supply (almost lost it during this). Just a side note of how supply works. It’s a supply and demand system. Meaning your body only produces or replaces the milk that is being emptied from your breast.
The next day we drove 2 hours to Baylee’s tongue tie procedure. It was a quick laser procedure, painless for baby. After that, we had 5 stretches we had to do with her tongue and mouth 5 times a day for 5 weeks. Along with craniosacral therapy and continuous visits with the lactation consultant. I am so very grateful to have been introduced to these wonderful physicians! It only got harder after the procedure but I was reassured that with patience and persistence that it would get better and easier.
And that is what it took! I had to make up my mind that I would not give up! And Baily had the same attitude. She is a little fighter. As I continued to gain more knowledge and understanding I tried my best to be consistent and persistent every day. It was frustrating and emotional most of the time. It took about 30-45 min just for Baily to latch each feeding and if she got unlatched it would take the same for her to get back on. I kept determined and with much support, Baylee girl was breastfeeding like a champ by four months old. Today she is 10 months old and we are loving our breastfeeding journey as it continues. She went from not even latching to feeding upside down, sideways, laying, sitting up, every way possible, LOL. Now its easy, enjoyable, and a beautiful bonding experience. Had this come easy I wouldn’t have valued it the way I do now. And I would not have learned what I did or gained such great connections!
If you are breastfeeding and feel like giving up, know that you are not alone. And that you are not a bad mother for struggling! Always know that the things that are long-lasting and biggest blessings in our lives sometimes come with a process or struggle along the way, but it only makes us stronger! It causes us to have a different perspective and to see and appreciate things we might not have had it come to us easily. Every mama and baby is different. Also, listen to your baby! Go with your mama gut and always do with what you feel is best for your child no matter what anyone says. I hope this blesses and encourages you in your breastfeeding journey!
